Fire in Babylon - An Education

Somewhere in the middle of Fire in Babylon, Viv Richards, batting without a head gear tries to hook a vicious bouncer but the ball comes too fast on him and hits him on his face. The Amarnaths and the Vengsarkars of this world would have been down after a pounding like that but the King is standing tall, undeterred and unmoved. Without showing a hint of pain or even a shrug of his head, he stares back at the bowler as if asking him, ‘Is that all you got?’. Bowler turns back to his run up as if to convey, 'Hold on, there's more coming'. He comes in steaming and again pitches in short. Richards repeats the same shot, this time sending it sailing over fine leg for a six, which should ideally have been an eight.
The crowd cheers in awe. You feel the same way. In the words of Viv Richards, "It is the history that you never forget."

Back in 1998, during one of my school summer vocations, I remember how eagerly I was awaiting the West Indies tour of South Africa to commence. The 5-Test match series was billed as the most keenly anticipated cricket series in a long-long time, especially with the whole socio-cultural African backdrop coming into play. But the series turned out to be a damp squib as the Windies were literally whitewashed 5-0 by the Proteas and barely managed to avoid the double ignominy in the subsequent ODIs where they were thrashed 1-6. I distinctly remember reading a Viv Richards interview in the aftermath of the disastrous African safari, where he was asked how he thought his own West Indies team from the mid-80s would have fared against the all-conquering South African team of Hansie Cronje. Richards replied with a child-like nostalgic excitement, "It would have been a great series...Oh man...I would have loved it. With our fast bowlers having a go at their batting, our batsmen taking on their bowlers...it would have been some contest." Having read about the long lasting West Indian dominance for years, I could understand back then what he meant when he compared the two sides but didn't quite realize the essence of it. After seeing Steven Riley's Documentary feature Fire in Babylon, I totally get it. And with my little found insight into the West Indian heydays, I am not sure if Cronje's side of 1998, for all its clinical brilliance and methodical efficiency, would've been able to avoid a similar 'Blackwash' against the West Indian side, that is shown in full glory, sweat and blood in the motion picture.

Fire in Babylon shows the causes and effects of the unbelievable rise of West Indian cricket and how it played a role in overcoming years of subjugation and racial abuse at the hands of their colonial masters. It revisits that era of cricket history and underlines its political implications in the way you have never seen or felt before. The rise of West Indies was seen as the rise of Black Power that unleashed a battery of demigods who'd strike down upon the forces of white prejudice with "great vengeance and furious anger".

Foremost among them is the towering figure of Vivian Richards – who looks as rocking in his interview excerpts as he does in the adrenaline pumping vintage footage. One always knew that the man is a legend, murderer of fast bowling and stuff like that. What FIB does is to give color, perspective and story to his larger than life persona. When you see the role he played in fostering racial, national and regional pride in West Indians each time he walked in to bat, each time he saw eye-to-eye with the intimidating white bowlers before he smacked them into oblivion, each time he took a political stand (against the WI Board for equal wages as white players or refusing a blank cheque offer to play for the rebel WI squad in S.Africa during Apartheid). He was the protagonist of the Black Power that was crusading towards unprecedented cricketing heights. He made his people believe that something as first-rate, undisputed and unchallenged as their brand of cricket could emerge from a group of supposedly 3rd world countries. In a subliminal way, you will also realise why Neena Gupta or any other actress who acknowledged his courage and manliness would give her right arm or left breast or both for having a child out of wedlock with the man like him and cherish that forever. If somebody told you that for an average West Indian he was no less a figure than the great Muhammed Ali or Pele, you would gladly believe so.

Don't Funk With My Heart

That’s not all. With Holding, Roberts, Marshall, Garner, Greenidge, Haynes, each reliving his glory years, FIB is a treasure trove of cricket memorabilia. Though you do wish to have someone like an Imran Khan or a Gavaskar to turn up on screen and speak of those times from a neutral perspective, but then it might have diluted the message from where it was coming.

You do, however, stumble upon some archive material which is as riveting and engaging as anything you have possibly come across. Like, you have no idea how fast Jeff Thompson really was until you see him throw one thunderbolt after another on the hapless West Indian batsmen on that wretched '76 tour. You wonder if Shoaib Akhtar would even come close to him in sheer pace. You also wonder how mentally strong Clive Lloyd's side really was to be able to come back from that position of mental and physical torture and then rule the game for the next 20 years. You feel the adrenaline rush when Michael Holding sends Tony Greig's stumps cartwheeling and the sinking realisation from the English side about the ill fated 'grovel' comment. You wonder how the West Indies today have traveled full circle and come back to where it started from in the 60s - Calypso Cricketers - those who can entertain but can't win. And finally, you wonder whether Indian hockey too needs a Fire in Babylon to stir up the dying spirits.

Coalgate: Let Us C+++

If Kaala Patthar (1979) were to made today, the heartless tyrant Prem Chopra would pick himself to be the Coal Minister. Shashi Kapoor, who plays the considerate mining engineer in the movie, would don the role of the honest, able and competent Coal Secretary who foresees the windfall gains in making by private companies and presses the right buttons, only to be shunted by his bosses. Amitabh Bachchan, the savior of the poor miners (the common man in this case) will play the daredevil CAG and take on the corrupt system single handedly. And finally, Shatrughan Sinha’s Mangal – the convict with an attitude problem – would find himself in the shoes of BJP, the principal opposition that itself has a less than virtuous past (as far as illegal coal mining and reported liaison with certain Reddy brothers go) and now finds it too convenient to shout ‘Khamosh’ to the government and walk out of the Parliament without a debate.

But unlike the linear narrative of Kaala Patthar, it is interesting to see how the ball was hit to and fro by Prem Chopra and Co. (PMO and the coal ministry here) in this ingenious game of procrastination that lasted for over 8 years, starting in 2004, while coal blocks were being allotted to private companies cherry picked by the government. The moment CAG report came out, BJP went all hammer and tongs over it, calling for nothing short of the Prime Minister's head.

Congress: "When there's no coal production, where's the loss?"
BJP: "You used the same logic in 2G and the subsequent auctions proved you wrong."
Cong: "We were only carrying forward a policy that was prevalent in NDA govt."
BJP: "The demand for coal had risen drastically since you came to power. It was your govt which introduced the competitive bidding process and then cleverly buried it under the bureaucratic process to grant allocations to hand picked companies."
Cong: "The CAG is violating his authority by questioning govt. policy."
BJP: “He's rightly questioning the inexplicable delay of 8 years in allocation of coal blocks."
Cong:  "It was your own state govt. which objected to the idea of competitive bidding. Hence, the delay."
BJP: "It is Centre’s prerogative to allocate national resource."
Cong: "The State representative was still part of the decision committee."
BJP: "Centre still remains supreme. States are mere recommenders. Centre can’t pass the buck."
Cong: "Why don't you debate it in the Parliament?"
BJP: "Debating over this issue is a waste of time. We dont want any JPC or PAC....we only want the resignation of the Prime Minister. The way Raja went, he has to go too. "
Cong: "You don't want to debate because you run the risk of being exposed."
BJP: "#$@!%!#$^!*..."

The spell is cast; arguments and counter-arguments are flowing from both sides with equal vitriol and worse still, conspiracy theories (involving the CAG) have started doing the rounds. The BJP has decided to shun the Parliament and go straight for the PM's head. Though they know that they are on a quixotic mission but it is still far effective than a detailed Parliamentary debate, as the latter would dilute their case. BJP looks at Coalgate and sees Bofors - their ticket to early elections and possible claim to power. One wants to strike the iron when it is hot, except iron is replaced by coal this time.

Scrutiny of CAG's Coalgate report notwithstanding, Vinod Rai's comparison with T. N. Chaturvedi, who was the CAG during Bofors (1984-90) and who eventually joined the BJP, is too premature and unfair. One has to see which way the current Harvard grad CAG would go after his retirement, which is due in 2013, before we judge him. Having said that, the CAG report is no gospel truth. Eminent economist Surjit Bhalla's double barrel attack on CAG's credibility [Article1, Article2 ] leaves crater sized loopholes in the report of country's premium auditory firm.

But the report to me is not about the 1.87 lakh Cr or 1.76 lakh Cr or even 29,000 Cr. It is about highlighting the callous use of power with no accountability. It is about putting brakes to system that is rotting at an exponential rate. It's not about the numbers. It never was. In fact, the credibility of the government is so low that people have unquestioningly fallen for the staggering figure of 1.87 L Cr loss without batting an eyelid. When government resides to crony capitalism and opposition connives with it under the facade of political conflict, it is for the constitutional bodies to encroach their boundaries and rise to the occasion. Chief Election Commissioner (CEC) used to be a spineless Pomeranian which was known for standing as a silent spectator amidst the worst election riggings, until T. N. Seshan turned it into a barking and biting Rottweiler. The judiciary also has to invade the space of legislature, every time constitutional eroding reservation laws are amended in the Parliament. The CAG, similarly, has to step over these porous boundaries when need be and restore credibility and confidence in the system.

Right questions need to be asked:
Irrespective of how flawed or accurate CAG's loss theory is, there are three things that need explaining, and quite detailed at that:
Firstly, the PMO came out rejecting the competitive bidding option in its note on 11th Sept 2004, citing the disadvantages of bidding. Reasons cited by the govt. for calling it disadvantageous should be explained in detail.

Secondly, throughout these 8 years, private companies selected by the Screening Committee continued to get coal blocks allocated to them (57 to be precise). Some of the companies chosen didn't even have any core competency in coal extraction. So on what basis were these allocations made?

Thirdly, and probably the most important of all, is the strange case of Comptroller and Auditor General that nobody seems to be taking up. The CAG is a constitutional body (meaning it can't be removed on the whims and fancies of politicians) which was set up specifically to curtail corruption. India is probably the only country where we have a body called CAG, whose 'C' is silent. A Comptroller & Auditor General Amendment Act in 1976 clipped the controlling powers of CAG, rendering it as a mere post-scam auditor. The crux of the problem is the absence of any funds issuing authority, a job CAG was originally meant to do. Why isn't nobody talking about this glaring loophole that needs amore immediate amendment than anything else. What is the Lok Sabha waiting for? Another scam that finally breaches the coveted 200 K Crore mark - the '3 Idiots' of all scams? If we really want to put a lid on corruption in this country, it is time we hand over powers back to B.R.Ambedkar's "most important Officer" under the Constitution of India.

As for BJP's illusionary plans of bringing down the govt. by staging walk outs, if at all it has to continue doing so, it should at least do so with some style by letting its style icon Shatrughan Sinha tweak his famous lines from Kaala Patthar and stump the govt with -
"Exchequer ka fund koi lemon soda nahi, jise Congress jaise onge-ponge apni pyaas bujhaate phiren!"

GoW-2 Review: There Will Be Blood (contains spoilers)

"Humein laga Sanjeev Kumar ke ghar Amitabh Bachchan paida hua hai. Lekin ab pata chala hum to Shashi Kapoor the!" - Faisal Khan

No matter what time machine you use and what time zone you set for yourself to land at the theatre, you’ll inevitably find Sardar Khan (Bajpai) dead. That in spite of the soulful rendering of 'Jiya Tu Hazaar Saala' at the fag end of first part, giving a glimmer of hope that may be, just maybe Sardar, much like Vijay Chavan in Agneepath [video link], would survive the million-bullets-busted-in-the-car assault at the patrol pump. That is not to be. Having said that, every effort you make to be on time is still worth it (especially those who get stuck in Baba Ramdev inflicted mayhem in Delhi) because watching the initial reels of GoW-2 unfold is akin to catching the first episode of a highly awaited new season of a popular TV series. It starts with a bang and puts you right in the thick of things without unnecessary reminiscing.

The vendetta tale transcends into the third generation and with every prominent killing that takes place henceforth, you’re witnessed to a new brass-band laden death song from Yashpal Sharma, who reprises his role of the official item boy of Wasseypur. You are not quite sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the grief stricken widows every time he lunges into the mic and throws out a Shabbir Kumar/Mohd Aziz chartbuster from 80's. But you do realise that a bloody grand Corleone-like payback is on the cards as Nawazuddin Siddiqui’s ‘Phaijal’ Khan finally takes the patriarchal baton in his hands. And it is this anticipation that turns to movie’s undoing as it loses steam after the lightening start and begins to relay the plot for another two hours of politicking one-upmanship with battery of fringe players and extra characters - Perpendicular, Tangent, Diameter, Vertex, Rhombus, Parallelogram, et al - popping out every now and then.

Definitely, Definite

It is Faisal Khan’s bastard brother, Definite (played brilliantly by film’s co-author Zeishan Quadri) that brings the much needed punch back into the film with his portrayal of power hungry, unpredictable, fearless, Salman Khan obsessed, wannabe Don. The Chhi-chha ledar chase sequence, where Definite goes to bump off Shamshad Alam, only to run away to save his own ass, is one of the high points of the film. 

Nawazuddin, as expected, gives a powerhouse performance, but still falls short of emulating Manoj Bajpai’s larger-than-life aura of the first part. Piyush Mishra and Jameel Khan, who were able sidekicks to Bajpai in GoW-1, are reduced to mere mannequins here. May be it was a sign of new generation taking over both the reins and the guns of Wasseypur. The action too evolves from the rugged knife-stabbing and country-made revolver shootouts in the seminal part to a more polished Kalashnikov inflicted bloodshed here. 

One might see GoW I & II as two different films and they are, in all fairness, different in story build up, narrative pace and their leads. But it's how the two films compliment each other that truly makes Gangs of Wasseypur, as a whole, a complete epic. Where the first part successfully created the perfect milieu for the riveting revenge saga to unfold, GoW-2 (for all its shortcomings) provides the most iconoclastic, befitting climax in the karmic killing of Ramadhir Singh. The orgy of endless bullets pumping into his blood laden pulp of fat dead meat in the backdrop of electronic ‘Keh ke Lunga’ is the closest Bollywood has ever got to Quentin Tarantino. That scene alone is worth your price of admission and the cost of buying the 2-DVD set when it's out.

My rating: 3.5 for the sequel and 4 for the franchise.

Movie Review - The Dark Knight Rises

TDKR poster outside DT Cinemas a day before the release.

There are movies that go on to completely redefine a genre (Batman Begins). Then there are movies that take that genre to an unprecedented and almost insurmountable level of perfection (The Dark Knight). And then there are movies that make the downward trek from peak oil stage as enthralling and engaging as the buildup once was. The Dark Knight Rises (popularly acronymed as TDKR) is probably as fitting a finale to one of the best trilogies ever made as one would have wished. And unlike The Lord of The Rings, which was based on a book and hence couldn’t possibly go wrong with the story (unless it’s Rumi Jaffery who’s writing it), TDKR had to repaint a canvas of new characters and plot line and still manages to retain the DNA, the flow and the pedigree of the epic Batman franchise.

TDKR is no The Dark Knight. But it is the best follow-up film you could’ve expected especially after amassing gargantuan expectations protruding from its cult prequel in 2008. In fact, TDKR is a movie that doesn’t actually require a preamble. It is better off without one, to be honest. You’ll love it for what it is and you’d hate it for what it is not.

The film’s biggest achievement, apart from having a stupendous climax and that hell of a rabble-rouser scene on the street, is the fact that no character in this film is just there to fill the boots. Every guy is in with a reason and stands decisively close to giving the narrative an unexpected turn in any direction you could possibly fathom. Michael Caine, as the incessant butler Alfred, probably outdid himself in the initial scenes with Bale. He sets the tone for a possible Batman decadence that makes you secretly root for the aging hero whose invincibility, you somehow know, is gone. Morgon Freeman is delightfully charming with his child-like desire to still impress Wayne with his toys, even after what happened at the end of the last movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, whom I call the Shahid Kapoor of Hollywood every time I can’t recall his name and then I regret doing so, because he looks and acts way better than that schmuck, is as impressive here as he was in Inception. His presence in the film is most reassuring and it culminates appropriately into the figure you inadvertently see in him right from the start.

But it’s Anna Hathaway who takes the cake with the cherry on top. If Heath Ledger had packed off Jack Nicholson’s Joker into a permanent oblivion, Hathaway makes Michelle Pfeiffer’s Cat Woman take a long walk to kindergarten. She not only gets the best lines in the film but delivers the much needed fillip every time the momentum threatens to slow down. Tom Hardy as Bane is not half as menacing as the Joker (and he didn’t have to) but is more physically intimidating than any other Batman villain has ever been. The Bane-Batman fist fight on the street is one hell of an adrenaline pumping sequence that makes you want go back and hit the big bad bully in high school in his face. And a word for Daniel Sunjata – he might just be the last known onscreen cop to say, “I’ll take it up from here” and then get his ass kicked soon after.

TDKR has the trademark Nolan stamp all over it – great character development, riveting story build-up, witty & smart lines and all that intertwined by a goose bumpy music by Hans Zimmer, who’s turning out to be the new age Morricone. Gotham’s Reckoning, that has a Judgement Day-like blood stirring quality, along with Mind If I Cut In (Cat Woman’s theme) are two standout compositions worth Academy nominations.

TDKR is not a movie to be critical about. Because it passes that test by miles. It’s a celebration of a successful culmination of the best blockbuster trilogy…possibly ever. Go watch it. It is the Godfather-II of our times.

What Rajesh Khanna Means to Bollywood?

They found the God particle in the corridors of Hadron Collider in 2012. But we had found the almighty himself in the corridors of silverscreen back in the 70s. His name was Rajesh Khanna alias ‘Kaka’ and they said that if anything came close to being God, it was him for his stardom was so big, it was almost immeasurable.
But let me just quantify things for the sake of better understanding. Think of Bachchan’s best years (1975-84), and add to that the combined stardom of the three Khans throughout 90s and 2000s. Now add Hrithik’s Kaho Na Pyar Hai hysteria and Kumar Gaurav’s forgotten but equally mad Love Story days. Whatever unseen volume of salivating fan clout you can fathom, multiply that with 2 raised to power 15. Yes… 32768 multiplied by that imaginary load of maniacal fad is what Rajesh Khanna at his freaking peak was like. He was, definitely, God. I say this because Khanna delivered an unbelievable streak of 15 consecutive solo superhits. That’s right. 15. Consecutive. Solo. Super hits. That’s an unbroken record of gargantuan proportions. 

The legendary star passed away on 18th July, two days before The Dark Knight rose. To capture the true essence of Kaka’s reign at the top, and facets of his onscreen avatars that go beyond the veneer of a superstar, I have made an effort to pick and choose ten films from his reign at the top. These may not be his best or most memorable films, but they play a visceral part in making him what he was, understanding his unprecedented phenomenon and analyzing how future generations will both judge and savor him.

Aradhana (1969)

If you watch Aradhana now, chances are you’ll not be exactly floored by its young, cougar-desired, fair looking, and genuinely handsome leading man. But back then, the moment the mustachioed Rajesh Khanna (son of the deceased, similar looking but clean shaven dad) in a pilot uniform, gets off the plane in the second half and waves at the screen, he had inadvertently entered the hearts and minds of millions. And that was it. Rajesh Khanna was an accredited superstar by the end of film.
People give a lot of credit to Kishore Kumar’s songs and how his peppy voice provided an impeccable match to Khanna’s lover boy persona. But they forget that while Rajesh Khanna’s success owes a lot to Kishore’s songs, it was Aradhana that resurrected the latter’s singing career and catapulted him to the top of background singing scene. Mohd. Rafi could never recover the numero uno position after Aradhana. He was always the second fiddle from then on.

Ittefaq (1969)

In an era where songs ruled the roost in Bollywood, Yash Chopra came out with this taut, song-less Hitchcockian murder mystery, set inside a house and taking place all in one night. Ittefaq remains one of the most defining films of its genre but is unfortunately forgotten under the overpowering romantic undertone of Khanna’s other films. Coming right after Aradhana’s stupendous success, Ittefaq’s Dilip Roy was the first such instance where the actor in Rajesh Khanna was tested against the star he’d unknowingly become. The fact that the actor triumphed against the star was no ittefaq.

Khamoshi (1970)

Probably an Eastman color deprived, black&white film was the only way to effectively deglamorize Khanna’s ever increasing colorful appeal. And it helped in making the film as a sum bigger than the parts – Khanna’s transition from a mentally challenged patient to a cured but love stricken man being the most prominent one. With Kishore Kumar, once again exemplifying the pain of Kaka’s character with his soulful tearjerker Woh Sham Kuch Ajeeb Thi, it was only a matter of time before he would become his full-time default playback. 

Anand (1971)

Unarguably the magnum opus of Kaka’s career, Anand is almost synonymous with his name for more than one reason. Here was a superstar at the top of his game, an unprecedented phenomenon who could make million hearts stop with an innocuous roll of his eyes, a gentle head jerk and that “here’s looking at you kid” smile. But Hrishikesh Mukherjee chose to rid him of all that razzmatazz, draped him up in a simple Bengali kurta-pyjama and then didn’t even bother to throw in a leading lady to romance the biggest romantic hero of the time. And what you get is sheer magic and effortless charm of an actor who bowls you over with his unmatched energy and onscreen chutzpah. He is clearly at the top of his game. You cannot miss the confidence with which Khanna towers over a diffident, lanky Bachchan, who looks more like an intern training under the rockstar salesman of a firm. Nobody in his right mind would have thought that this very intern would eventually become the CEO of that firm one day.

That said, Rajesh Khanna sparkles in Anand like he has never before or ever since his meteoric rise and an equally cruel land sliding fall from grace.

Amar Prem (1972)

Rajesh Khanna never got to say tectonic shifting lines like “Khush to bahut hoge tum”, “Don ko pakadna…” or “Rishtey mein to hum tumhare baap hote hein”. He never even made a psychotic stammer of “Kkkkkkkkkiiiran” or Sunnydeolised cops into “Balwant Rai ke kutton”. The only line he ever had was – “Pushpa, I hate tears” said in his own tranquilizing style. If there’s one reason why Amar Prem is still amar, it is this. Based on a Bengali novel, Shakti Samanta’s film is probably the first commercial hindi movie that explores the endearing tale of platonic love between a man and a woman of the same age and probably suffering from the same woes. Not exactly a masterclass direction or screenplay to boast, the film has Kaka and his songs to the rescue once again. The way Anand Babu infuses exuberance into Pushpa’s dry life and film’s even drier narrative only underlines the effect and power of Kaka’s onscreen charisma at his peak.

Bawarchi (1972)

Bawarchi was probably made by Hrishi Da to satiate the growing urge of people who couldn’t get enough of Kaka’s self-less, joie de vivre act in Anand. Bawarchi was basically Anand repackaged with Lymphosarcoma of intestine replacing the Lymphosarcoma of middle-class joint families. 

Kaka, not surprisingly, mesmerizes you with his performance, where yet again he was cast without a love interest and yet again he showed that it doesn’t matter.

Avishkaar (1974)

A deglamorized Rajesh Khanna cast as an over-worked urban husband struggling with marital discourse, Avishkaar was a daring attempt by the talented Basu Chatterjee at a time when 70s were starting to get really blaxploited – heroes’ hairdo was getting fuller, shirt collars were getting Elvisly longer and trouser bottoms were getting belled. Khanna delivered arguably his best performance in a role that required him once again to rid himself of all his superstar mannerisms and show restraint and subtleness in just the right doses. He won his last Filmfare Best Actor award for this film and deservedly so because he stuck his neck out and tried to do something endearingly different while he was still at the top, something the other stalwarts after him fell glaringly short of.

Roti (1974)

Roti was the closest Rajesh Khanna could come to playing Amitabh Bachchan and vice versa. He is Mangal Singh, your typical larger than life hero who does everything expected of him in the 3-hours running time from breaking jail on the day of his hanging, to masquerading into a village crusader who takes care of an elderly blind couple like their own son, to romancing the notorious village belle. Roti was also a bowdlerized version of Manmohan Desai's later films with Bachchan, with whom he found nirvana and churned out trash after trash after trash under the euphemism of formula films. 

Namak Haraam (1973)

  

Namak Haraam is seen as ‘passing the baton’ movie by connoisseurs, primarily because it acts as an inflection point for two contemporaries stars – one on his way up and the other on his way down (at least in the hindsight). Unlike Anand, the Khanna-Bachchan pairing here was more even-steven. You definitely see a more confident, polished and suave Amitabh Bachchan, fresh from the success of Zanjeer, taking on the King of good times at his effervescent best. The fact that Bachchan’s character had shades of grey in it did allow him to take home more than his share of accolades from the audience. But no matter how imposing Bachchan’s anger was, Namak Haraam essentially remains a Rajesh Khanna film from its core.  

It was not just a clash between two icons of Indian cinema, but also a clash of two economic models – Capitalism vs. Socialism. The classic scene where Khanna compares a peg of Black Label with a factory worker’s one month salary would have got it a standing ovation from Karl Marx himself.

Mere Jeevan Saathi (1972)

If there’s any film that comes closest to being called a quasi-documentary on Kaka’s short but unchallenged rule at the box-office, it is Mere Jeevan Saathi. Playing a popular artist, who has his ways with the women, Rajesh Khanna is in his element here. You can literally sense the actual hysteria and fan frenzy he must have commanded those days by just sitting back letting the film’s first half role. Kaka is just playing himself with women drooling right, left and center, till the tragedy strikes and he loses everything. MJS gives you one of Khanna's best film soundtracks, throwing one chartbuster after another – O Mere Dil Ke Chain, Chala Jaata Hoon, Diwana Lekar Aaya Hai, Kitne Sapne Kitne Arman, …all in the same film!!

It's only fair to say that Rajesh Khanna was like a bolt of lightning that struck Bollywood and changed it forever – for the better or worse, is debatable. He definitely changed the film-centric nature of Bollywood to that of star-centric, exacerbated further by Bachchan’s One-Man-Industry era. Many superstars came and went after him, some even played a longer and more defining innings while others managed to make a mark internationally but for that short period of four years (1969-73), the rage, fad and frenzy of Rajesh Khanna remain unmatched. And as they say, the light that burns the brightest burns for the shortest period of time. 

RIP Rajesh Khanna, the original superstar.

Movie Review - Gangs of Wasseypur (Pt- I)

“Yeh Wasseypur hai… yahaan kabootar bhi ek pankh se udta hai aur doosare se apni izzat bachata hai!” - Sultan Qureshi.

Gangs of Wasseypur, the 9th film directed by maverick Anurag Kashyap, comes in the rarest of rare categories of films where the line between cinematic luxuries and real world exploits blurs into oblivion. With its slow and steady pace that sporadically soars and roars, Gangs isn’t really a film in the real sense of the word. It is an experience that absorbs you and etches a footprint of memorable characters that stay with you long after the end credits start to roll.

GoW is indeed the first genuine dynasty film in Bollywood, where the story spans over decades and life times of three generations of a family (no, Saudagar doesn’t qualify here). Like Godfather, it also amalgamates the family and crime genre of films, without being restricted to one or the other. It also breaks molds by being the first non-star film coming out of the Bollywood stable to clock a budget of 26 Cr (18Cr in filming, rest in marketing). GoW has many firsts going for it and it might be the beginning of a new dawn for Hindi cinema. Just might.

The revenge saga, which is filmed in 2 parts, starts with engaging opening credits that are endearingly complemented by Piyush Mishra’s rustic voiceover and hand-drawn illustrations of scenes from the film itself. The first half-hour may not be the most explosive start to a vendetta epic like this, but it sets up the character of Shahid Khan (Jaideep Ahlawat), who looks and acts like Manoj Bajpai’s father, to perfection. Looking at the silent brooding anger of Ahlawat, you just subliminally know that somebody is going to get hurt real bad once his son grows into the bald and dreaded Manoj Bajpai. And that he does with oodles of confidence, chutzpah and uncontrollable libido.

Notably, Kashyap drenches his narrative with the right dose of humor – mostly subtle, instinctive and character driven. Language is earthy and real, with lots of Bose.D.K’s flying around every now and then. But you’ll be amazed to see yourself laugh at the most nasty jokes and crudest display of machismo on Indian screen. Bajpai’s flirtatious laundry stint with Reema Sen (this is the most desirable she’s ever looked); Tigmanshu Dhulia’s (Director of Paan Singh Tomar) cruel, cuss-worded berating of his son in-front of his wife; butcher Ehsan changing gears from nonchalant walk to a hurried sprint the moment he realizes that Sultan Qureshi, walking behind him, has taken out his slippers to whack him; the train sequence where Nawazuddin (Bajpai’s son) gets an inferiority complex from a co-passenger who looks more ‘Amitabh Bachchan’ than him; Yashpal Sharma’s delightful cameo as a wedding singer; Bajpai using a Mithun da inspired local dancer to ridicule the village political honcho – the laughs keep coming amidst sudden doses of raw violence, bodies shredding to pieces and bullets puncturing human chests when you least expect them to. 

Talking of acting, Gangs boasts of the most amazing display of fine, nuanced acting by an ensemble cast where every actor looks like playing the role of his/her lifetime. No other film, with exception of Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro and may be Sholay, has been able to achieve an acting quotient so high from its cast. Manoj Bajpai as Sardar Khan, is in top form – both above and below his waist. He has clearly enjoyed every second of his screen time and his towering performance is almost like a thankyou note to the makers of GoW for giving him a second shot at stardom post Satya. Tigmanshu Dhulia as Ramadhir Singh impresses in his acting debut, giving a brilliantly underplayed performance of a scheming politician who feels equally vulnerable to Sardar Khan's ambitious rise in the power circles. Richa Chaddha (of Oye Lucky’s Dolly fame) is unforgivingly volatile as Bajpai’s wife. And, Nawazuddin in a Michael Corleonesque role, is like a time bomb that is just waiting to explode in part-2.

Songs, mixed and blended in the Bihari folk by Sneha Khanwalkar, are too good, too many. Though using all of them as underscore for a particular sequence didn’t help adding any real fillip to the narrative, some like I am a Hunter, Keh ke Loonga and Bihar ke Laala remain stand out gems that you’d want to hear back-to-back, endlessly. But it is the background score (sadly it doesn’t feature in the soundtrack listing) that really acts as a cohesive force behind various factions of GoW and comes back to haunt you every time it’s played.

Over indulgent in parts, explosive as a whole, hilarious in bits, and tacitly gory in shades, Gangs doesn’t deserve a uTorrent download. It’s a motion picture that requires big screen viewing for it to completely sink in and for you to completely absorb it – before you wanna revisit it again.

GoW is a landmark film, not because it is made out to be so. But because in years & decades to come, irrespective of its current box office numbers, Gangs of Wasseypur will be seen, revered and named in the top ten Hindi movies of all time by movie connoisseurs, critics and filmmakers alike.

Because like what Google’s Project Glass does to technology, this is the kind of cinema that takes film-making beyond what it has been to where the future might be.

We're half way there. Part-2 should complete the stride.

"Call-to-Action" Revisited

There are days when you get this epiphanic insight into something you thought you've known all along, as it happened this morning while getting off from the Metro station when I got swamped by a noisy group of rickshaw pullers. I usually don’t catch a rickshaw from that point and prefer walking to the crossing before taking the ‘luxury’ ride. And it’s the usual affair; I pay the guy 10/- bucks and he drops me at my office building. No questions asked, none answered. But today was different. Amongst that herd of rickshaw wallahs, my eyes somehow caught the attention of this lean, tall guy with an arrogant swagger (almost reminiscent of Salim-Javed’s Angry Young Man from the 70s), as he slowly made his way through the jostling crowd. But it is actually when he came close that I got to see him in his full glory – wearing a tight, faded brown T-shirt with the most amazing lines ever written on the chest of any Indian rickshaw puller. Going by how hard a rickshaw puller’s life is – not giving in but fighting and slogging it out in the Sun, day-in and day-out with no leaves, no annual bonuses and no job switches – the text on his t-shirt couldn’t have captured his struggle to survive another day any better. He obviously didn’t realize the literary genius of his t-shirt but he had, however unintentionally may be, ‘converted’ me into a sure shot first-time customer.
He asked for 15, five more than the usual tenner I have to offer. But let’s just say, the marketer in me was so overwhelmed by the impact of his T-shirt’s copy… the moment he said ‘Pandrah Rupay’, I was hearing 'How You Like Me Now?' playing loud and clear in my ears.  I knew I didn't want to bargain with this guy...not today. He had more than convinced me and I followed him to his rickshaw like a privileged foreign tourist would. He didn't take more than 5 mins to drop me at my office entrance. I thanked him for the ride and asked him if I could take his picture, to which he readily agreed. I didn’t ask his name; to me he could only have one name – Vijay!!
Below is Vijay’s ‘all-attitude, no bullshit’ pic.

Moral of the Story:
In marketing parlance you hear the term ‘Call-to-Action’ all the time. But what exactly it really is? They’ll tell you it’s the be-all and end-all element required right before the final nail on the sales coffin is about to strike. But then every Facebook ad, newsletter subscription, whitepaper download or webinar registration has to work around the same rules. So, who gets the gold?
It’s the mad dog who does! That’s right..!! The mad dog here is the one who stands out from the herd of stray dogs for its sheer madness. And you love him for it.
    

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Open Letter to Karan Johar from Late Mukul Anand

Dear Karan Johar,

Sub: Agneepath Redux - Reviewed & Cremated

First things first. Why would you wanna fix something that ain't broke?? I mean..really!! You are running a production house that may have had good commercial success of late but is devoid of any class whatsoever. The only semblance of respect it commands is in the form of a gangster flick that I directed and your father produced some good twenty years back by the name of 'Agneepath'. You wanted to remake it and earn some quick bucks from your gullible overseas market (especially with the current exchange rate) under the garb of paying tribute to a 'classic'. Fine, its technically your property now and you did have your way. I anyways never paid any heed to the IPR mumbo-jumbo during my time, so I wont harangue you about copyrights. Art is all about copying and inspiring others to copy you. But for Ganpati Bappa's sake, you could have done it with some style - at least match it up with some clever writing, crisp editing, and contemporary story, the stuff my film is still revered for.

The original Agneepath,for all its script loopholes and bad music (I keep hearing that from pseudo film critics), is still considered a modern cult-classic. I'll tell you why - primarily for three reasons:
> First and foremost, Vijay Dinanath Chavan - the vendetta man who'd take bullet after bullet but come out stronger each time to kick some more butt. He doesn't sing, he doesn't dance and he doesn't run around trees. He just kicks ass, plain and simple. It was a character that would've done Pacino's Tony Montana proud.
> Second, Kader Khan's signature thunderbolt dialogues. Never before or since then have you felt the sarcastic twitch of "Bandook bhi dikhata hai aur peeche bhi hat ta hai" or the analogy driven threat of "Hawa tez chalta hai Dinkar Rao" or the food chain insight of "Jungle ka Kanoon" or the economic repercussions of "Rupees three taenty five". It was content marketing at its best.
> And finally, a collage of the background scores that I blatantly ripped from Giorgio Moroder's Scarface to Mory Kante's Yeke Yeke to Jean Michel-Jarre's Rendezvous-2. But boy, what a rip-off it turned out to be. If there's any work of plagiarism worth being sued for, this was it! In fact, if Agneepath were ever to be remade, it should have been made with same rigour, intensity, passion and sound. Or never made at all. It's as simple.

Your film, son, was deprived of all three. But I must say, in spite of that, your namesake Director started rather well...conveniently copying the scene from A Bronx Tale to get the young Vijay hooked to crime (I just love rip-offs!). You even got the age difference between the siblings right this time. But what made you go all bonkers after a decent start like that? Why was Hrithik trying to be both Vijay Chavan and Krishan Iyer? Where the hell did you come up with the idea of celebrating his sister's birthday every year?? And what's with this beauty parlour comedy track anyway? Also, I am curious, what made you keep Commissioner Gaitonde's name as Eknath! What's wrong with 'M.S. Gaitonde' (you didnt realise they were MY initials, did you?)? Is that why you're calling your film different? And most importantly, where the heck is Terylin (Sharad Saxena)? Son, you can't make gangster flicks without gathering an assembly of notorious sidekicks like Terylin, Shetty and Insp. Pathan in the picture. You still there...?? Good. Read on.

This was your chance to use Dharma Productions' financial muscle and buyout the rights for that Jean Michel-Jarre's soul stirring background track and use it right, left and center of the film, till it's done to death. But no. You chose to go ahead with a brother-sister goody-goody song on the beach and even brought Udit Narayan back from slumber to sing a drunkard song, reflecting Hrithik's sudden transition from a sad drunk man into happy jubilant family guy. Somewhere around here, my eyes lit up on seeing the poster of Tehelka (1992) in your film, which made me want to switch over and start seeing that instead.

And please for the love of Mary Matthew, don't use the word 'tribute' with this film. Your facade remake made me turn in my grave ten times before I found enough room to carry out the Kill Bill style 'fist-punching' escape from coffin. If you really wanted it to be a tribute, you needn't go farther than Master Manjunath (of Malgudi Days fame) to play Vijay Chavan. It's only fair that he played that role, now that he must be 36. You may have vindicated Agneepath commercially, but you did that by chopping out Mithun Da's role to please your multiplex audiences. And that is something I'll never forgive you for.

Next time your incompetent team of sophomores tries to remake my films, pick up Trimurti. I want to see how much worse can you get with that film. In fact, with a name like that I'll allow you three remake attempts to perfect it. But get one thing straight bugger... if you touch any of my Bachchan films, I am gonna take a FLAMETHROWER to this studio of yours. I'll show you the real Agneepath then.

Best,

Late Mukul S. Anand

PS: "Galat cheez banaya 'remake'...Aadmi sochta kuch hai, bolta kuch hai, banata kuch hai."

Facts Without Wikipedia

Everyone looked concerned on the day when Wikipedia staged a 'Blackout' in protest to certain SOPA(Stop Online Piracy) and PIPA (Protect IP) Acts being tabled in Congress.
They say it's a black day for the internet. Guys @FightingInternet even came up with its SOPA version of 'Hitler reacts to' videos. But no matter what happens to those bills in the Senate, the fact remains that the world without Wikipedia will, indeed, not be the same. Here are ten defining facts that our present & future generations could end-up believing hook, line and sinker once Wikipedia is taken down (No..seriously):

Fact#1 Taj Mahal was made by Pakistan, which is now India.

Fact#2 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was actually inspired by A.K.Hangal's autobiography.

Fact#3 When Ashish Nehra retires, cricinfo will too protest with a black-out.

Fact#4 Once Sardar Milkha Singh, while chasing a thief (who'd broken into his house), over took him and left him far behind.

Fact#5 Mithun Chakraborty turned black with a plastic surgery in protest to Michael Jackson turning white.

Fact#6 Narendra Modi was travelling in the United States when Godhra broke out.

Fact#7 India's first case of brain drain was that of Steve Jobs in 1974.

Fact#8 Salman Khan forced Shahrukh Khan to make Ra.One at gun point.

Fact#9 Congress' think-tank was outsourced to IIPM on retainer-ship model for 3 yrs in 2011.

Fact#10 Navjyot Singh Sidhu is the only batsman in the history of the game to get out bowled after laughing out aloud and tumbling over the stumps on a wicket keeper's joke.

#FactsWithoutWikipedia is still trending on Twitter. Hurry up...enlighten the world with more facts before they get distorted by Internet Censorship lobbies.

Holmes vs Moriarty - When Heavyweights Collide

“What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?”, Joker once asked Batman. The timing of the question was probably wrong as Joker was himself hanging upside down from top of a building and Batman was too pissed off to give a fitting verbal reply. But it is surely a fascinating scenario (if you think about it) – two champions of their respective fields, advocating conflicting ideologies, coming face-to-face for the first time to outwit, outperform and outclass each other. It is always a battle of gigantic proportion, where you have Goliaths on both ends and Davids watching from the sidelines. It is, as my good friend ‘CJ’ calls it – a COLLASH – a bastard son born when collision has sex with clash. For the stakes are higher than they have ever been, and post this encounter the reputations will never be the same again, unless they share the honors. The adversaries do change according to scripts but the intensity and excitement of having finally met your match remains intact. It could be Good vs. Evil, Savior vs. Destroyer, Capitalist vs. Communist, Gandhi vs. Hitler, Pacino vs. De Niro, Sampras vs. Federer, Ali vs. Frazier, Tendulkar vs. McGrath, Roark vs. Gault or Sherlock Holmes vs. Prof. James Moriarty.

Guy Ritchie has encashed on this salivating proposition of bringing two fictional adversaries together in the sequel to his 2009 revamped version of Sherlock Holmes and let me say that Madonna’s ex-husband has done a pretty good job of it. Robert Downey Jr., an actor who, considering his talent, tasted commercial success pretty late in his career, once again delivers a master class performance as an eponymous detective and towers above the rest – something you expect. But it is the little known Jared Harris, playing Moriarty, who gives the kind of performance that literally ensures that no one ever calls him Jared ‘who?’ again. What makes his performance more credible is the fact that he had to work his way around the initial dampener of seeing him, and not Bratt Pitt, donning the role of Moriarty and still leave you impressed. Well, let me just say that A Game of Shadows is one of those rare movies that are able to pit two strongly built characters against each other, build a thrilling crescendo and pull it off perfectly. And of course, it’s better than the first part. But this is not a movie review (although partially it is.) This post is more about finer details of the history behind this great rivalry, something left out from the movie for obvious reasons and I cant keep myself from writing about.

When you cherish your gift of immaculate observation and delectable presence of mind to nab even the toughest and wackiest of problems that police itself has given up on, you’d usually find yourself in a spot of bother when pitted against a criminal mind that has an extraordinary dangerous streak and intent to propagate crime. Moriarty, in many ways, is a perfect antagonist for Holmes. Holmes, younger of the two, has always known and heard about Moriarty’s legend but never met him till their famous encounter in Conan Doyle’s The Final Problem. In spite of being a man of immense ego and self-esteem, Holmes respects Moriarty’s mental powers and treats him as his equal in terms of intelligence. He even knew full well from the very start that sooner or later their paths would cross, and when they do, he cannot afford to let his guard down, not against the master criminal, the ‘Napoleon of Crime’ as he fondly called him. Moriarty on the other hand, was of course the mafia of the crime syndicate in Europe with a vast network of immensely to moderately talented delinquents working under him. With his irreconcilably corrupt mind, he would leverage his Machiavellian intelligence to plan everything that is deviously wrong and that comes under the domain of illegal activity and then lend it the most ingenious execution.


He knows every trick in the trade and is too shrewd and much too savvy for the customary police to suspect him, let alone plot his arrest. Nobody has seen his face. Nobody knows if he is for real. But nobody denies his existence too. He is the idea, the thought and the voice behind all that is going mysteriously wrong in London.

Moreover, he acknowledges Holmes’ unique talent but I doubt if he ever thought of him as his match. Unlike Holmes, who had a good prior knowledge about Moriarty’s legend, Moriarty only hears about Holmes after he first foils his plan in The Valley of Fear. The famous BBC TV series starring Jeremy Brett, also inferred ‘The Red Headed League’ episode to be Moriarty’s brainchild. Though Moriarty does concede that Holmes has all the ingredients to be an interesting adversary and that it would be disappointing to lose him, but he can’t let his business suffer because of pleasure. He won’t let Holmes continue to foil his subterfuges and fuck with his reputation. It is therefore sad that Holmes and his bete-noir came face-to-face just once – The Final Problem – their one and last encounter.

Before finishing this fictional trivia let me just enlighten you about one great parallel between Prof. Moriarty and the cult Indian comic kitsch villain Grand Master Robo. The way both characters were introduced in the franchise before being brought fully in focus in later editions is actually quite fascinating. The fact that both Moriarty and Robo went on to become the arch-nemeses of the respective protagonists makes the comparison that much more symbolic. But the similarities start and end there. Where Moriarty is known for his intellectual deviousness, Robo is known for his physical abilities – he is half human and half machine. In a way, one can call Robo a poor cousin of Darth Vader too! But more on that later - when, in near future, some ingenious Indian filmmaker (with access to ludicrous amount of money) picks up an old Raj Comics copy of Grand Master Robo from the stack of Guptaji’s worn out comic books and decides to adapt it on screen. Till then savour the vintage Moriarty-Holmes standoff.
The End?